[ don't bother. ]

...This blog post wasn't intentionally made to be filled with emotion, but I thought the lighting and the mood made it so, so I kinda just rolled with it. Also it's thunderstorming and it kind of depresses me that it's going to last all week, but it also leaves me with a sense of peace at the same time. I hope we get some clear skies regardless of what the weather shows, and I hope that my own skies will also be clear from here on out. The credits are really small today, but I have on a really pretty lingerie piece by Sweet Thing today that I couldn't pass up blogging, so I hope that makes up for it! You don't have to read below if you're not interested, it's a little personal thing. <3

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I've thought about this a lot. What you called 'helping' was what you had only hoped to gain in return for your services. It was never being there as a friend. It was never more than one-sided. I gave my all and you took and took. When there was something wrong, you never spoke up until everything came flooding in at once and then you lashed out. Ontop of my depression, you hit me with that and expected me to be okay with it. That is unforgivable. You may call me weak and you may claim I'm at fault for everything in my life, but your words mean nothing.

What you've done to me will never fade from my memory. How you abandoned me when I needed you the most and how you dare to say I was the one who did so still angers me. What you did was inexcusable. I've gotten this far without you and I'll continue to move forward without you. I realize it now; I shouldn't need someone who was only there when it benefitted them in some way. As soon as it no longer did so, you were off without a second thought. Many times this happened.

You abused me, whether you ever realize it or not. You were far too self absorbed to understand that you're not the only person who has suffered a great deal in this world, and you were far too caught up in that notion to understand how others are affected by the things you do and say. You are NOT the only person in the world who has been hurt, used and abused. Displaying that kind of behavior yourself because it's happened to you is not acceptable. The only child here, is you. You are the one who refuses to grow up and act your age. The fact that you will never stop your self-pitying and accusing even those close to you of horrible things is why I have decided..

 It's time for me to go on with my life, and that's what I've taken these past few months to decide. Sometimes the answers to questions are better left unstated and sought out. I will survive without you, whether you choose to believe it or not. You want to see someone who's strong? Well.. you got me. Don't bother trying to pretend you'll clean up the mess you made, because it's left a permanent scar that reminds me never to speak to you or forgive you again. You can only thank yourself in the end, for all of those good people who walked out of your life.

{ credits } 

Eyeliner :: < nova > Jada { oo1 }

Hair :: [KoKoLoReS] Hair - Domino / NEW

Heels :: Violent Seduction - Unicorn Shoes (Death)

Lingerie :: Sweet Thing. Daydream Teddy {Collabor88} / NEW

Lips :: < nova > Mac { oo4 } {TTS} 

Pose :: *FN* This Place Pose